As the dance of the planets unfolds, there can be no doubt that the time of birth has zero effect on our daily lives. Nonetheless, why put any faith in science, so I have delved into the ancient world of astrology to make these bold predictions.
Astrological highlights for January the eleventh month of ye olde Roman calendar.
Lord Geoffrey of the Northern Meadows astrological predictions
Sagittarius 17 December – 20 January.
The Mongols gave us so much inclduing an excuse for defeat. It still is prudent to remember never admit defeat, just make up an excuse even if you have to glue a human torso onto a horse. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Capricornus 20 January – 16 February.
Yes Veronica you have to work if you want to get paid. Then when you are old you can retire and rest, not the other way around. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Aquarius 16 February – 11 March
Karellan cannot save you and Sunny was a dumbass so smile and carry on. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Pisces 11 March – 18 April
It doesn’t matter if you are surrounded by a shark and have a really powerful electric battery if your boat doesn’t sink. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Aries 18 April – 13 May
AU are you listening? It is time to move on. Let the negatives go and Karma will take its due course, not necessarily on your time scale. That book you just walked past has all the answers on page 44 line 63 stating the minimum value of 798kg at STPG. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Taurus 13 May – 21 June
You do have the right to say who enters your house. There will now be a tsunami of change in politics as people push back. A pendulum, if it moves must swing back. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Gemini 21 June – 20 July
Poor Vlad. You won’t know how to hold this firecracker without it going off when you least expect it. I am sorry though for the Ukrane who will most likely suffer. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Cancer 20 July – 10 August
The stock market will rise rapidly but ask why Warren is still selling. There should still be caution. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Leo 10 August – 16 September
He may be a felon but who cares if the stock market keeps rising… Boom…ers.
Virgo September 16 – October 30
Atope complaining, y’all lost and now you have a felon for president. Bwahahahahaha. (See Virgo)
Libra October 30 – November 23
As usual you will struggle to find balance but the people will decide and that is simply the way it is. Win or lose accept the decision and move on. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Scorpius November 23 – November 29
Hard work is good work especially if you lost the election. “To the young people who are watching it will be okay, you can still force others on how they address you…maybe not”. Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.
Ophiuchus November 29 – Dececember 17
When the opening sentence is “Hi, I’m Jock and I haaate the English”, you know its going to be a fun day! Bwahahahahaha a felon for President.